Marriage reveals God's heart in giving. It is called meekness, the transfer of one's rights to let the other person be happy where they are, providing him an opportunity to discover life in his state.
Unconditional love must be the basis of true meekness. God transferred His right to enjoy His fullness and came and shed His Blood and bore our sins. He met us in our sinful condition so we could discover grace while still in our sin, giving us the life to live in victory above that sin. Meekness produced a family for Christ. He in turn was given many blessings through the grace He has given.
A heart does not have to adjust if it is divinely oriented. A life does not have to constantly reorient itself if it is divinely adjusted. Some people take a year in marriage before they are meek. Others are nothing less than meek. If you lay down your life, the other person is blessed and so are you. That life in you reproduces a capacity in another person. A selfless life is received as a consequence of grace. Christ is glorified and the flesh is not exalted.
The principle of marriage that Christ displays with the Bride is that He is always giving us His nature and in return He receives a great family. The greatest privilege is to give the grace given by God in a union. Give love to each other instead of rationalizing rights toward each other.
A giver is a winner, and he always receives what he gives.