"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church." Was Christ possessed and manipulated by the Church? God's love cannot be possessed. Christ died for us when we were yet sinners and did more for us through His love than He could ever do if he had settled to live in a love that could be possessed by the response or initiation of the Church in the flesh.
If our lives are dead and we are hid with Christ in God, then no one can hold us or possess us. We have liberty in the Spirit of God. We may be considered a prisoner by some, but we see no prison walls, only those who declare us to be a prisoner of the Lord Jesus Christ (2 Timothy 1:18). This is the bondage that grants us perfect liberty. We are bond-servants. This love is the best that can ever be offered. If we are possessed by another, we are not loving as Christ loved the Church. This kind of love goes beyond theology and self and is a new kind of unity.
Many try to hold other people's flesh together because of fear. Whether it be in a marriage or in a church, we are to live as a package of love that cleanses, ministers and loves continually without attempting to hold the flesh of Adam and all his fears, insecurities, and habits into a particular pattern. As Jesus has illustrated, as our example and as He taught, we love beyond the other party. We are not regulated by murmurings, reactions, or differences but rather, we love as Christ loved the Church.