Victory is ours through Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57). It is not by works; it doesn't come by trying to change. Victory comes by receiving a change from God through His gift of grace.
Many Christians do not understand that they can never change themselves. We say in our frustration, "If He is going to change me, then why doesn't He just do it?" Yet we fail to understand that change will only come as we continue to receive something from God. We must keep on receiving until we enter into faith-rest. And what is our faith resting in but God's unconditional love for us?
God has never told us that we should change. We are changed when we recognize our need and receive the grace of God. "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty [to be changed]. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord" (2 Corinthians 3:17b-18).
Don't accept defeat. Don't confess your frailty, your weakness, or your feelings to those around you. Make your confession to God-He is waiting to be gracious to you. He is not waiting to give you grace after you have changed; He gives you grace to be changed!